2013

2013, the year that lasted a million years.

January 1st, 2013, I was at a missions conference called Urbana.  InterVarsity Press puts it on, and thousands of young people who are interested in missions get together to worship God and talk about ministry.  At midnight, we were jumping up and down, singing our hearts out, and rejoicing in who God is and what He was doing and what He would be doing in our lives.

2013 was the year I graduated from Asbury University and said goodbye to a community that taught me so much and loved me so well.

2013 was the year I went to Honduras for 5 weeks and knew that my heart would be happy anywhere.  I love Haiti, but I love everywhere else, too (thus the blog name).

2013 was the year that I moved to Haiti.  And now, 1 year after that "mountain top" experience at Urbana, I'm a different person, in some good ways and in some not-so-good ways.  This year, I learned just how far my naivete could take me, that I'm idealistic enough to throw caution to the wind and see what happens.  This year, I learned that loving people and trusting people like that could get me really hurt and leave me feeling a bit jaded.

2013 was the year that I learned that no one can make me give up, that no one can stop me when God is by my side.  And He is.  And looking back on my life, every year is better than the last, hardships included. 

2014 is the year that will be even better.  Because I live in an orphanage now, and that's something I've been dreaming of and working toward for a long, long time.  I'm so excited to see where God is going with my life, because He has taken me through a crazy path to get there. 

2014 is the year I refuse to leave!!!!  (But I need your help on that one.  More to come, but please considering giving.  Tell your friends, family, small group, or church!!  I need your help to stay!  Check the link on the right side or visit youcaring.com/LoveOrphans )

ready

Wow.  I can't believe I didn't blog for a month.  Slacker!  It's because there is so much I want to say, but I can't say much of it.  The truth is that the last three months have been hard in ways that I didn't anticipate.

And it hurts.  And part of me wants to go live in the states, where I can drive myself to the grocery store, buy some fresh fruit, converse with the cashier, and return to my personal space without anyone professing their love to me or asking for money.  

But maybe the hard things are the best things.  I'll look back on all of this and know things I would have never known without this experience.  

At the same time, things are getting awesome in my life!  I'm finally making friends, and in 35 hours I will be moving into an orphanage full of lovely girls.  I'm so thrilled that I will be getting to know them better and spending lots of time with them.  My best friends are coming to visit me, see my life, and spend some time with my girls.  Then I'll be back in the states for a fabulous wedding and, equally importantly, some rest and processing time for me.  I'm so ready for it.  And I know that after that, I will be ready for what 2014 has to offer.

Is it a full year of being with the girls and maybe teaching a class at the University at the same time?  Is it half a year and then returning to America due to a lack of funds?  Is it moving to Zimbabwe and becoming a midwife?  Is right now a time to plan or a time to just be?  Should I be thinking about these options or just resting in the fact that I have at least a few months of time here, more if I dip into my little bit of savings?  

That is something I do not know.  But I'm ready to go for it, and to figure it out over time.  I'm ready to be joyful in this moment because this moment is the only one I really have, isn't it?  

I want to stay, but I'm sure God will be with me wherever I go.  That's why I named my blog and my facebook page "Shelby Loves Everywhere."  I love Haiti, and I want to stay.  But it's not my home.  No, neither is America.  Nor Zimbabwe.

"I've finally found where I belong.  

I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence.

I've finally found where I belong.

It's to be with You, to be with You."

~Where I Belong, Cory Asbury

a truckload of excitement and a dash of reality

Craziness!  I didn't want to bring this up on the blog until it was official, but it is now, so here it comes!

*drum roll*

I am MOVING!!  Packing up my bags and moving right down the street, to the orphanage that I have been visiting about once a week since I've been here.  Every day since I've been in this country, I prayed that God would give me an opportunity to spend more time with orphans and do what I was born to do - mentor forgotten children in the world.  Then, much to my surprise, the opportunity fell in my lap a LOT sooner than expected.  It's so incredible, and I can't wait to have a closer view of God's work in the lives of these precious children.  I'm even more honored for the chance to be a part of it!  

I look back on my childhood, and there a few, distinct adults who loved me and invested in me during my journey.  And they shaped me, and I would be a drastically different person without them, if I were even alive at all.  God has called me to play that role in the lives of children that I'm around, and I have been beautifully blessed in that role.  

Does it have to be Haiti?  No.  Wherever I live, for the rest of my life, I will do my best to love God, love people, and invest in children.  Nothing can ever, ever stop me.  But I love Haiti, and I want to be here.  I will fight for my place here.  

Then the reality sets in. 

Some missionaries spend 2 years fundraising before they leave for the field.  I, being the naive 21 year old that I am, basically came to Haiti straight from college.  And though I had some money from donations to begin with, start-up costs were more than I expected:  paying for the house up front, buying a bed, etc.  And the truth is that, when January rolls around, I will be dipping into my savings.  Being a recent college grad, I don't really have enough to last me very long here!

Living in Haiti is relatively cheap.  About $600 a month.  But I don't have it.  I have $50 coming in each month - from two beautiful souls.  But the cold, hard truth is that if a few more lovely people don't step up - I will be returning to the states and searching for a couch to crash on as early as March.  

So am I begging you to do something about it?  No.  In fact, I would have stopped asking for money a long time ago if it was for myself.  But it's God's money, needed for God's purposes.  It's up to you, only you, if you want to be a part of the work that God is doing in Haiti.  I earnestly hope that you do want to join me in this way, but I know that God will still love me and use me for His glory, even if I find myself sleeping on a couch in America.  Everywhere is an adventure, and God's will can be done anywhere in the world.

Ways to Help

1.  Make a monthly donation!  Make this ministry a part of your tithe!  No amount is too small.  Give $1 a month.  Seriously.  No one person can do everything, but together we can do amazing things for God, right?  [To do this: use the paypal button in the right sidebar of this blog.  Enter ANY amount and check the box for monthly!]

2.  Talk Haiti up to your friends and family.  Okay, so maybe your bank account literally can't spare $5 a month.  Great!  Fine!  You can still be a part of this, really!  Chances are you know someone who would want in on this Haiti Ministry action!  Talk to them about it!  Seriously.  You have nothing to lose.  

3.  Re-post my blog or my YOUCARING page.  This is the virtual version of talking Haiti up to your friends.  =]

4.  Make a special donation on my Youcaring page.  Maybe you don't have a steady income, but you have a few dollars under the couch that you'd be willing to send in!  Go for it!  Still extremely appreciated!  When the meter on the page is full, I'll be set for 2014!  [YouCaring widget is on the right of blog!]