CULTURE SHOCK

Culture shock is a normal thing.  I keep reminding myself of that, and it calms me down.  When first entering another culture willingly, there is a honeymoon phase during which the individual is so elated to be in the new place that cultural barriers are no bother.  2-3 months after arriving, culture shock is usually experienced.  

So this blog isn't at all a complaint; it is just me talking about my completely normal feelings.  =]

Here I am: Week 10.  The culture shock has definitely hit me.  Things that never bothered me before in Haiti have been driving me insane this week.  Why does everything have to be some complicated and beyond my understanding?  I miss always having a good idea of what should be done in every situation that arises.  I am SICK of being defined by my skin color.  In America, I never have to think of being white as a part of my identity (and I don't see African Americans as black people either.)  In America, we put a lot more emphasis on achieved status.  

Just the fact that I am white opens and closes so many doors here.  But I don't want to be treated like I'm superior.  I also hate that everyone who sees me assumes I have a closet full of iPods back in the U.S.  When can I ever go somewhere without being noticed?  I am starting to detest every kiss blown in my direction and every shout of "blanc" that reaches my ears.  I am not a spectacle.  I am not a novelty.  I am not a color.  My name is Shelby.

I miss familiarity.  I miss being able to drive MYSELF wherever I want to go whenever I feel like it.  I don't want to procure a car and ask someone else to drive me.  

I miss warm showers, clean clothes, smelling good, and milk.  I'm sick of bug spray, sunscreen, and sweat.  

I'm learning what culture shock is, but I can also learn how to work through it.

So here's what I've got so far.

1. Don't make escape an option.  I am here, and I am committed to be here.  If I really wanted to, I could change my plane ticket and fly back to America tomorrow.  The feelings I'm having aren't a sign that I need to go back to America.

2. List the things I love about it here.

3. Be aware that my feelings are normal and to be expected when experiencing a new culture.

4. Pray through all of my anxieties.

Of course, none of this is meant to say anything against Haiti or my time here.  Like I said, culture shock is a normal things, and I am having it right on schedule. 

I miss America, but I will be back soon enough.  And then, I will miss Ayiti like crazy.