life has its ups and downs

Well, yesterday was absolutely fantastic, but today was kind of rough.

We went to the Baptist mission yesterday - me, Karissa, Emily, Pat, and Jamil.  I definitely prefer the dynamic of smaller groups of blancs.  It was nice to just have girls' day with Jamil!  The two hour drive up there was absolutely beautiful.  I love the mountains.  We drove through Petionville on our way up, and it's crazy fancy.  It was actually probably the biggest culture shock that I have had since I have been here.  There was a RADIOSHACK.  There really was.  There were also high-end clothing stores, a party store, massive grocery stores, and the like.  It was rather overwhelming.  

We got to the Baptist Mission, and I ate chicken nuggets and french fries.  Weird, huh?  We also did some shopping.  I didn't get anything except banana bread.  They had lots of good stuff though.  I saw Kelli, a girl from Asbury.  She's here for the summer also.  Isn't that so random??  Asburians are so international!  We had a missions class together last semester.  Life is funny.  The mission also had a little zoo with the best monkey I have ever met.  The monkey was in love with Jamil.  You'll just have to trust me when I say that it's the funniest thing I have ever seen.  That monkey only had eyes for Jamil, and it looked suicidal after he eventually walked away.  We took a little while to take in the crazy beautiful view of the mountains.  It's also much cooler up there, so it was a nice break from the heat.  

Then Jamil took us even higher up to see the view.  We could see all of Port-au-Prince and the surrounding cities.  It was amazing.  We also met an artist who was painting the view.  He was awesome and hilarious.  

And in the car, we heard "When You Believe" from the Prince of Egypt on the radio.

Then we stopped at the fancy grocery store, which was really too much.  It was just like an American grocery store - maybe even better.  They had Caramel Tim Tams, which I have never even seen in America. I got some ice cream for $5.  Worth it.  I didn't buy anything else, though, because it was all very expensive. They had every kind of cereal - even Kashi!  It was ten bucks for a box of Lucky Charms.  Boo.

Anyway, it was really fun, good bonding, super funny, and overall amazing.  

Today was not so amazing.

For starters, today is father's day.  It just hurts, and I don't really feel like there is anyone I can talk to right now.  Everyone back in the states is too busy, or they went off to some other country.  I just feel like I have no means of contacting anyone who knows me very well.  I really miss the Kelleys (shout out to you, if you're reading this, Shannon.  I hope you're having fun in America!).  I'm okay with it when people don't like me. (I mean, there were people who hated Jesus, so why would I expect everyone to love me?)  It's just harder for me to take it when I'm already hurting.  During church today, I was just crying out to God - "God, I feel so unloved." And God reminded me that His love is all that I really need.  I'm sorry if this post comes off as a little too depressing; I just want to be real.  I'll be better tomorrow.  It's just a rough day.  No one can take my joy away from me because no one can take God away from me.  And don't forget Psalm 68:5.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling"