well hello there!

Hey folks!
I apologize for the lack of updates. Hopefully, you're following my facebook page, and you already know that I have indeed arrived safely! (www.facebook.com/shelbyloveseverywhere)

So far the transition has been harder than I thought it would be. On the plane here, I felt it for the first time - the weight of the things I'm giving up, like a heavy burden on my shoulders. The entirety of what my life could be right now, but isn't. It's compounded my countless posts about my peers in happy apartments, going to school, being with friends. I'm bright. I could be in seminary or grad school or have a high-paying job. Some people my age are married now. The people that I've invested in during my life are all left behind. Doing the things I could have chosen, occupying the space I filled in their lives (though maybe not the space in their hearts).

 I can't say with 100% honesty that there's no pain involved with this. Some people I know wouldn't risk the pain at all. When you think about it, does it make that much sense? Giving up everything I have known, everyone I have loved, to pursue a dream, to pursue God, in a country where I can't exactly speak the language, where I don't have any friends? I can see how such a concept might be out of the ordinary. In the last week (would you believe I've been here a week already?), the weight has lifted slowly but surely. I remind myself that everyone I have ever loved was once a stranger. Every place I've ever lived was new in the beginning. There's something so comforting, so joyful, about needing less to make me happy. I still have a lot more than some people - about 175 lbs of stuff, much of which is craft stuff and food. Maybe someday I can whittle it down to a bit less. I kind of hope so. There's something liberating about it. I don't need electricity all the time to keep me happy, though it sure is nice. When I moved into Asbury, the whole car was full. Now it's just a trunk. What did I even take?

Life is full of choices, and perhaps one of the most important ones is how much you're willing to risk. I'm not talking danger; I doubt I'm in much more danger here than I have been the rest of my life. What would you risk? Would you risk having friends? Would you risk having convenience? Would you risk looking like a fool?

[I'd love to continue this conversation in the comments, if anyone wants to put their two cents in! Also welcome: what you want to see on the blog.]